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दिन की चिड़िया | |
दिन की चिड़िया कतरव्यौंत में अपने ही पर कुतर रही है डैने खोले, काली छाया धीरे-धीरे उतर रही है एक-एक कर झरते जाते हैं सुर्खाबी पंख नदियों से घोंघे गुहराते हैं मंदिर से शंख आँखों के जंगल से कोई शोभा यात्रा गुजर रही है बीच-बीच में दरकी-दरकी सभी उड़ाने हैं चिड़िया की आँखों मै चावल के दो दाने हैं इन दानों पर जाने कब से दुनिया भर की नजर रही है बैठी है बिजली के तारों पर झूले मन में हम झूलें तो जाने क्या हो जाये पल-छिन में इसीलिए यह चिड़िया है जो बिजली से बेखबर रही है | |
Sunday, August 28, 2011
दिन की चिड़िया
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According to a news report, a certain private school in Washington recently was faced with a unique problem. A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom.
ReplyDeleteThat was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.
Every night, the maintenance man would remove them and the next day, the girls would put them back. Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night.
To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required. He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it. Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror.
There are teachers, and then there are educators ...
Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking?
ReplyDeleteThey already have boyfriends.
Smile. It's the second best thing you can do with your lips.
ReplyDeleteYo momma is so fat. She puts on lipstick with a paint roller.
ReplyDelete"Daddy," a little girl asked her father, "do all fairy tales begin with 'Once upon a time'? "
ReplyDelete"No, sweetheart," he answered. "Some begin with 'If I am elected.'"
A little girl goes to see Santa Claus at the local shopping mall. When she arrives and sits down on Santa's lap Santa asks "What do you want for Christmas little girl?".
ReplyDelete"I want a Barbie and a GI Joe" says the little girl.
"But Barbie comes with Ken" Santa says,
"No, Barbie only 'cums' with GI Joe!"
There is a little boy and a little girl in the woods. The little girl asked the boy, "What is a penis?" The boy replied, "I don't know." At that time he hears his mum calling him for lunch. He goes home and eats his lunch. Then he sees his dad on the couch. He goes up to his dad and ask him, "What is a penis?" The dad whips his out and says to the boy, "This is a penis, as a matter of fact this is the perfect penis."
ReplyDeleteThe boy leaves to go find his friend and brings her to the woods. The girl again asks him what a penis is. He whips out his penis and says to her, "This is a penis, and if it was two inches smaller it would be the perfect penis!"
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.
ReplyDeleteShe replies in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"
What not to say to the nice policeman:
ReplyDeleteI can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.
My husband said he wanted more space.
ReplyDeleteSo I locked him outside.
Old software engineers never die. They just log out.
ReplyDeleteWhat was the last thing Dodi said to Diana?
ReplyDelete"You look smashing!"
Have you ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E and F are the letters used to define bra sizes? If you have wondered why, but couldn't figure out what the letters stood for... It is about time you became informed:
ReplyDeleteA ... Almost Boobs
B ... Barely there.
C ... Can't Complain!
D ... Damn!
DD... Double damn!
E ... Enormous!
F ... Fake
A recent study found that 35% of men have been injured while undoing a woman's bra.
ReplyDeleteThat's correct. While unfastening a woman's stabilizing devise, men have received strained tendons, scratches, and other similar injuries.
Actually, I can vouch for that. I got injured today while trying to undo a woman's bra. When I undid the woman in front of me in the checkout line, she turned and hit me with a can of peas.
The young reporter thought long and hard. Finally he handed the Editor the following report. "Mrs. Smith was injured in a car accident today. She is recovering in County Hospital with lacerations on her ( . )( . )"
ReplyDeleteA man was walking down the street when he saw a woman with the perfect, and I mean PERFECT, breasts he'd ever seen.
ReplyDeleteHe walked up to her and said, "Ma'am, you have perfect breasts, and I will pay you $100 to bite them." The woman was horrified and began to walk away.
The man caught her and said, "Alright, I'll pay you $1,000 to bite your breasts." Still horrified, the woman began to run away.
The man caught her again and said, "Fine. I'll pay you $10,000 to bite your breasts, and not a penny more." The woman then thinks that $10,000 will be worth it, so she finally agreed.
They went into a deserted alley away from the city action. The woman took off her shirt and bra, revealing the perfect breasts. The man then began to touch, squeeze, fondle, poke, and everything to the woman's breasts EXCEPT biting them.
The woman then said, "Well, are you gonna bite them or not?!"
The man replied, "Nah, too expensive."